Remember when the weather got cold?

Remember that one day in October in Boston, when I stepped outside and realized it was finally time to put on a coat? Of course not. Because this post really isn't about the weather. When is the conversation ever really about the weather? Well, ok maybe sometimes when the weather is extreme, the conversation is really about the weather. But not this one. I remember the weather was cold that day because I had just gotten out of a long and gruesome exam. I remember thinking "omg, I just bombed it." And when I walked outside, the weather felt frigid, lonely, and miserable. I had the terrifying thought that grad school was infinitely hard, and no matter how much I tried I would never do well.

The exam, as it turned out, wasn't too bad. It certainly wasn't as good as I would like it to be, but my grade was not as morbid as I had originally feared. I knew I still had a lot of improvement which required a lot more hard work, but I had a better idea of what I had to do. And for that, I was hopeful.

Thinking back now, the coldness that day when I walked outside didn't seem so miserable. The heat was gone and it was cool outside. The air felt fresh and the weather was actually kind of nice.

The memories we make aren't like the ones stored on a computer hard drive. They change over time. The little details can be obscured. The way we interpret them can be biased. And good memories can turn to bad ones. but bad memories can also turn into really good ones. We can always be hopeful. And maybe eventually all of our bad memories will turn to good ones.

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